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"I'm Sexy!" — Drunk At Fat Daddy's Entertains A Crowd

BY JOHN DOUGLAS
The Packet
columbuspacket@cableone.net

John Douglas / The Packet CPD Officers Hanson and Mosely prepare Lucas for his stay at the county jail.

John Douglas / The Packet
CPD Officers Hanson and Mosely prepare Lucas for his stay at the county jail.

Just before 1 a.m. Saturday, Columbus Police Officers James Hanson, Sherman Mosely and Rhonda Sanders responded to Fat Daddy’s Nightclub at The Landmark Inn for a reported disturbance. Callers stated that two white males were involved in a fight in the parking lot of the hotel.
Arriving on scene, Hanson and Mosely found a single white male sitting in the entryway of the Landmark Inn. He told the officers that the other individual in question had assaulted him before running off towards the Waffle House. As they searched for the missing man, Justin Kenny, who works security at Fat Daddy’s, called them to the edge of the hotel’s rear parking lot. At his feet lay David Austin Lucas. Kenny told the officers that he had chased Lucas from the scene of the fight and witnessed the runner run head-first into the chain-link fence that runs between the Landmark Inn and the westbound lanes of the Highway 82 Bypass.
Lucas looked relaxed as he laid on the ground at the officers feet, crossing his hands behind his head as he babbled on that Kenny had chased him down for no reason. When he was told that he would be detained while the officers sorted things out, Lucas became belligerent, cursing and hurling slurred insults at Hanson and Mosely.
“Man, I ain’t f***ing done a god**** thing! I was just..just… f***ing…..I was at the god**** bar. I ain’t done a f***ing thing,” yelled Lucas at the officers.
The obviously intoxicated man was asked his name as he was put on his stomach and handcuffs were applied to his wrists, to which he responded, “David Lucas.” The officers could not understand him, as his face was buried in the grass beneath him. When asked again, Lucas angrily answered, “David Austin Lucas! David A. Lucas! Ain’t you got f***ing ears!?!”
Lucas was lifted to his feet and moved to a nearby patrol car where he was searched before being transported to the Lowndes County Adult Detention Center. In his pockets, the officers found a pair of forceps, two lighters, a hotel key, a wallet and some cash. When asked about the lighters, Lucas replied, “I just got lighters! I don’t smoke f***ing crack! I don’t smoke any of that god**** sh**!” Concerning the forceps: “I got dawgs.”

David Austin Lucas

David Austin Lucas

[Medical forceps are a favorite tool in the counterculture community for handling the burning stubs of marijuana cigarettes, or “roaches”. When the cigarette, or “joint”, burns down to a stub (generally 1.5″ or shorter), the illicit material is clamped into the forceps, which are then employed as a handle until the “roach” is burnt to ash. – JD] While being searched, Lucas addressed The Packet, saying, “You mothaf***ers are scandalous. F***ing scandalous. Hold on. Imma smile for ya!” As Lucas was pulled upright after the search, he added (almost as an afterthought), “I’m sexy.” This sent a small crowd that had gathered to enjoy the show into howls of laughter.
After properly displaying how classy he was, Lucas was put into the back of Officer Mosely’s patrol car for transport. While getting in, Lucas resisted, pushing against Mosely. He was then forcibly put into the backseat, where he laid down and put his feet against the side window of the car. Lucas was gently reminded that if he kicked the window out he would learn what a TAZER felt like.
Lucas, 27, of Bearden, Ark. was charged with public drunkenness, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. He was released from the Lowndes County Adult Detention Center after posting a total bond of $1086.00.

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