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Nom Nom Nom… OW!

Sharp-toothed Packet All-Star Shot in Foot

Columbus Police responded to 1404 21st St. North around 7 p.m. last night in response to a shooting victim. According to residents of the home, Columbus personality Alvin Skipper had arrived on the front porch of their Memphistown home suffering from an apparent gunshot wound in his right foot. Skipper refused to tell police when or where the shooting took place and became quite boisterous when he was being transported to the ambulance. Just as he approached the waiting stretcher, he noticed the Packet reporter across the street documenting the event for all the good citizens of Columbus, “Here we go!!! You motherf***ers again! Ya’ll gonna make stuff up again? I ain’t never been in no fu**in’ trouble… never was… yooooooooooooou f***s. ” (Mr. Skipper is referring to a featured piece in Packet # 1013 entitled “Imma bite yo finger off!! Nom nom nom!”. Skipper was quoted in the piece for threatening to bite a CPD officer finger during his Southside arrest and his lengthy arrest history was included.)

Mr. Skipper refused to comply with paramedics and get on the stretcher until he had said his peace to the Packet reporter, “Whatcha gonna say about this?? Huh?? I still demand a retraction about the last story! Ya’ll made that up…Didn’t do nuttin’, biting folks? Bullllsh***!! I need a light (to a paramedic), fu**er better stop takin’ pictures- no a light– smoke (to paramedic)… I’m not sittin’ down with him takin’ pictures and without a light… c’moooooon” Skipper said.

“Violatin’ my rights, you, Packet” Skipper continued as he mildly resisted being placed in the waiting ambulance, “Baby, baby (to a bystander) I need a light, smoke, summin.”

Skipper reportedly suffered a small caliber gunshot wound to his right foot and is expected to make a full recovery His arrest record shows he has been arrested at least 19 times in the area, with most charges relating to alcohol or disorderly conduct. A brief search of the area provided little hint as to the location of the actual shooting. The home Skipper took refuge was raided in a narcotics sting in the fall of 2012, but police did not suspect the shooting occurred on the property. A neighbor speculated Skipper likely knows the house for hosting friendly games of “craps.”

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1 comment

  1. Amy

    19 TIMES ?? What happen to 3 strike and you go to the Big House ? This is one of the reasons Columbus is in a slide down hill.

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