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Single +1

Sarah Fowler

What a difference a year makes! This week marks the one year anniversary of Single +1 and goodness how things have changed since that first column. The last year has brought joy, tears, surprises and most importantly, a peace of mind that I have never known. Being able to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper and share them with you all has meant more to me than I could ever explain. I initially struggled with how much is too much to share but the longer I write, the more I come to see you all as girlfriends I’m talking to over coffee; you’ve become my allies and my confidantes and for that I am eternally grateful. A few weeks ago I realized that I’m a 26-year-old woman, raising my precious five-year-old in my beloved hometown with an amazing career, what the heck have I been complaining about? Lucky doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’ve come into my own as a woman, as a mother, as a writer, and if not for this column, I wouldn’t be here. And that is thanks to all of you.
The title of this column tells it all, I am single plus one. But that’s not all I am. I am also unorganized, under-medicated, absolutely head over heels in love with my sweet Prinny, exhausted, tipsy after two glasses of wine, addicted to my job, obsessed with yoga pants because I’m too lazy for real pants, sleep deprived, I laugh too loud and don’t cry enough, feel guilty about having a cleaning lady, watch too much Bravo TV and am happier than I’ve ever been. Without this column…I don’t know where I would be.
I first started writing Single +1 as a way to sort out my feelings about dating and being a mommy. I was so in involved in work and Prinny that I honestly didn’t know how I would find time for a social life but I knew for my sanity sake, I had to try. Dang it, I was lonely and sometimes you just need the company of a man to remind you that you’re more than a mommy, you’re a woman too. That being said, I felt guilty about wanting more. I tried so hard to be the Super Mommy and my goodness I love my daughter but at the end of the day, I wanted to be able to sit down with an adult, have a glass of wine and discuss politics, religion or simply be able to say “sh*t” and not have to worry about little ears hearing mommy cuss. Besides, you can only play so many games of Barbie’s Dreamhouse before deciding that Barbie and Ken have a pretty good thing going on. I had been divorced for three years when I decided to take the plunge and jump back into the dating pool. This column was a way to help me weed through the wonderfully weird, the downright goofy and the men that quite frankly should never be let out of their mother’s basement. Bless their hearts but those men had no place in the life of my daughter or myself. But along the way, one or two of those would be relationships turned into something more. I’m still single but this past year has taught me that I’m happily single. I don’t want to be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Through numerous online dating profiles, bad dates and awkward phone calls, I’ve learned what I want in a partner-and what I don’t. More importantly I’ve learned what I want in myself.
Growing up, I never thought I would be an adult living in Columbus, MS. I always imagined that I would move away, get swept up into the world of politics and come back to my sleepy little hometown once or twice a year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. As it turns out, I am in my mid-twenties and living working and raising a family in the little town that I once was so eager to leave behind. And I couldn’t be happier about it. In high school I thought the worst thing that anyone could possibly be was “settled” but lo and behold, settled I am. I’m the proud mommy of the cutest little kindergartner this side of the Mississippi, involved in a newspaper that I am proud to put my name on every week and just purchased a home twenty minutes away from my parents. Life is pretty dang good. I had dreams of grandeur and traveling the world but most days nothing makes me happier than pulling into my driveway, knowing that I’m home. That’s the thing about Columbus, no matter who you are or where you’re from, our quiet little town gives you the feeling that you’re home.
This past year has been a roller coaster of love and lust, happiness and heartache and a good healthy dose of reality. I’ve learned just how important family and friends truly are and I have genuinely been moved by the outpouring of support Prinny and I have received as we’ve gone on this journey. We’re only a year in, but I feel as if this last year is any indication, we’re off to a very good start. This column, my readers, have helped me come into my own as a woman, as a mother and as a lover. I am single plus one and will be for a long, long time. It’s not just who I am, it’s what I love. I honestly don’t know how it gets better than this but I can’t wait to find out…



  1. Henry

    Well, Dang it. This sounded like a Good Bye letter, that you outgrew the need for this column. Unfortunately doesn’t seem this is the case. I had high hopes though!

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