займы онлайн займ на карту займ онлайн микрозайм онлайн займы на карту микрозаймы на карту микрозаймы онлайн микрозайм на карту кредит онлайн на карту микрокредит онлайн займ на карту онлайн займ онлайн на карту срочный займ на карту кредит на карту срочный займ займы онлайн на карту займы на карту онлайн кредит на карту срочно онлайн кредит на карту срочные займы онлайн займ на карту микрокредит онлайн на карту микрокредиты онлайн быстрый займ на карту кредиты онлайн на карту онлайн займ кредит на карту онлайн микрозаймы онлайн на карту кредит срочно займы на карту срочно займ на карту срочно микрокредит на карту займ на карту мгновенно быстрые займы на карту займ онлайн круглосуточно займ денег взять займ онлайн займ быстрый займ онлайн микрозайм на карту срочно быстрые займы онлайн онлайн займы онлайн займы на банковскую карту срочные займы на карту микрокредиты на карту онлайн кредиты на карту взять кредит онлайн на банковскую карту микрозайм срочный кредит займы онлайн на карту срочно

Single +1

Sarah Fowler

When did we all become so dang judgmental? I’m a writer by trade and should be able to pose that question in a more pleasing tone, wrap it up in a bow and softly deliver it with a subtle touch of eloquence. However, I’m a simple kind of girl and prefer to get straight to the point. I’ve been mulling this topic over in my head for quite some time now and kept thinking that the answer would magically come to me, that I would wake up one day and realize why we as humans act the way we do. Then I looked at my daughter as she played with her friends and had a moment of clarity where I immediately understood that it’s not we as humans that act this way. It’s we as adults.
Prinny came home from school recently with a poem entitled “Everything I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” My daughter is blessed with a wonderful teacher and I have a sneaking suspicion that the poem was meant more for the parents than the kids. It demands that we “share everything” and “do not hit” as well as the wonderful little nugget of wisdom that “warm cookies and milk are good for you”. While those are all good points, especially the part about the cookies, the part that stood out to me the most was a line that proclaimed “When you go out into the world, hold hands, watch for traffic and stick together.” It doesn’t get much simpler than that does it? I’ve long been under the impression that we as women should ban together instead of tearing each other down but it’s not just girl on girl judgement anymore. Judgement is no longer exclusive to gossiping at the beauty salon or talking shop at the water cooler. What we think of others and our opinions based on limited and often misinformed knowledge has made its way into our mainstream daily conversations and onto our Facebook news feed. We seem so willing to root for others to fail instead of lending a hand and helping them succeed. We’ve become a society that doesn’t celebrate the success of others but instead delights in their failure. And we judge them every step of the way.
I am a 26 year old single mother who lives my life with an “open book” mentality. That makes me an easy target and given the fact that I have a column in which I write about motherhood, love and everything in between, I’m a pretty convenient target as well. When I started writing this column I knew I was opening myself up to criticism. I knew better than to let the naysayers get to me because as my grandmother used to say, “If they’re talking about you that just means they’re giving some other poor soul a break.” It’s very easy to make snap decisions on a person and/or their lifestyle based on what you think you know. However, more often than not we know nothing about the daily struggles they face or how it feels to walk a mile in their shoes. I write my column not for the world to swing at me like a pinata at a child’s birthday party but to offer an insight to what it’s like to be a woman in my position. There are millions of women out there just like me who are raising a child on their own, working an ungodly amount of hours each week, balancing soccer practice, ballet, slumber parties and school field trips and hoping to find love somewhere in between. It’s not an easy task and I nor these women are looking for sympathy but sometimes a little understanding would be nice. The single mothers I know are strong, smart, independent, driven, determined, motivated, kind loving women who bust their butts day after day, all by themselves so they can provide the best possible life for their child. It’s a thankless job and one that they gladly do but it’s also one that few people understand. I write to bring attention to these women not because they ask for a pat on the back but because they deserve one. What they don’t deserve is judgement. There are countless phrases that have become cliche about gossip and judging others but I think the verse that sums it up best is Luke 6:42 that begs us “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own?”
When I was a little girl my Daddy tried to teach me how to box. He constantly told me to “guard your face” and to always be aware of the other person’s movement. Apparently that is a lesson I should have taken into adulthood. It amazes me how eager we are to judge someone and how quickly we leap to a negative conclusion. I wonder about the people who spend their days gossiping and judging others. Is it because they truly feel superior? Or could it be that they are so insecure about their own lives they try to shine a light on other’s flaws so we won’t notice theirs? I can’t help but feel sorry for them. It must be incredibly lonely to throw stones while living in a glass house.
There is no way to know what really goes on in someone’s life. We don’t know what their bank balance is, the strength of their marriage or the emotional toll that life can take on us sometimes. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that being an adult and raising a family can be exhausting. None of us have it all figured out and I honestly don’t know why we keep up the illusion that any of us have the perfect life. I work a lot, I’m single, am not where I thought I would be at 26 and there are days when I wonder if it’s all worth it. But at the end of the day, I’m happy. Judgement be damned. This is my life and I’m doing the best possible job that I can. We’re taught when we’re younger not to let the bullies get to you, never let them see you cry. But maybe those people need to know that their judgement is uncalled for and their petty behavior is out of line. In a perfect world, we would all hold hands, watch for traffic and stick together. Maybe we really did learn everything we need to know in Kindergarten.

0

3 comments

  1. Gasp

    If you would write articles about motherhood and being a single mom, I doubt you would get the negative responses you do. As it is, week after week we seen college-esque exploits of a teen mom. Maybe you are trying to get back those days you missed getting pregnant and married so young, as you say, we don’t know why you do the things you do, but ALL you talk about is the weekly/bi-weekly boys in your life. Someone said it is like reading a teenagers diary and I agree.
    You have the skill to really touch people with your writings. You just need to find your true voice. You love being a mother, that is evident. Write about it. Not necessarily about Prinny, but about the trials of mother hood. There are great blogs out there maybe you could use for inspiration. Snarkymommy.com, mssinglemama.com, youandmekid,net.
    Good luck!

  2. Single -3

    That hurt me right there. Made a comment last week but missed any comments which may have followed, so I might not have a point here. This begs the question, can one judge a situation, without judging the people involved?? I think so. But, many say the dividing line is skewed. We play the hands we are dealt, in other words, we deal with the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Some say we make our own circumstances. And, I say both are right to a degree. Being judgmental is a learned behavior..and I agree has become too much human nature. You see? If I didn’t have a son older than you, we’d be perfect for each other..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>