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Single +1

Sarah Fowler

It’s hard for women to admit when we’re wrong. Correction. It’s hard for this woman to admit when she’s wrong. Thank goodness it hardly ever happens. It is as rare as Halley’s Comet but on that one instance where it has actually occurred I thought it best to acknowledge the situation, apologize and then pretend like it never happened. This slight error in judgement is no different. With great hesitation…I feel like I owe an apology to the male species. I was wrong and I’m sorry. Lately I’ve been operating under the assumption that all the so-called “good men” were either married or gay and dang it all of the “bad” men seemed to be spoken for as well. I was in a dating desert and, to be honest, in a serious funk. I was tired of talking about it, tired of writing about it and just tired in general. I was quickly becoming that cynical, shriveled up old woman at the nursing home who yells at strangers and shakes her cane at them as they walk by; I assure you, it was not a pretty sight. Then, like Manna from Heaven, I had a moment of clarity. All the good ones aren’t taken, I’ve just been looking in the wrong place.
As a single Mommy in a small town, it’s hard to find the right place to meet a man. The majority of my time is either spent at work or at home which leaves little time in between for meeting people. I don’t see myself meeting a man at work because, as a crime reporter, most of the men I meet are handcuffed in the back of a squad car. You never know, one of them may just be my Mr. Wonderful but I doubt it. The other place I spend my time is at home and I may be delusional on occasion but I know that the man of our dreams isn’t going to jump through the Candyland board and spring to life in the middle of our living room. So. What are my options? We’ve all heard the old adage that you’re not going to meet your future spouse in a bar but in a small Southern town bars are often the only places that single people go. It’s not because we’re all raging alcoholics but because short of a football stadium or a deer stand, that’s the place that single men tend to gravitate to. I don’t know about the next girl but I’m not quite desperate enough to be standing in the middle of a deer field at 3 am, decked head to toe in camo with a gun in one hand and a breakfast burrito in the other in order to lure a man. There have to be other options. Maybe the one place I should be looking is the one place that’s been right in front of me all along.
As a good little southerner, I was born and raised in church. My family is Southern Baptist and my little butt was in the church pew at least three times a week. We were at every church function from picnics to revivals and looking back, I am so very thankful to my parents who raised me in such a nurturing, loving environment. I became a Christian on a Sunday morning after a week at Vacation Bible School. I can still remember walking down the aisle toward the preacher and looking up at him as he asked me if I had asked Jesus to come into my heart. I was the same age Prinny is now and as a parent, that is my deepest desire for her. I remember how it felt to walk down into the Baptismal pool, feeling the cool of the water on my skin and even at five years old I knew the magnitude of my decision. I’m embarrassed to say it now but Prinny and I haven’t been attending church like we should. I know I’m a good Mommy but I want to be a good Christian Mommy. I was raised believing that that means taking your children to church. My beliefs tell me that God has a plan for my life and that may or may not include a man but if I’m not letting Him guide me, how can I expect His plan for our lives to fall into place?
I am incredibly grateful that the woman I am today is not the woman I was yesterday or will be tomorrow. I am constantly growing and changing and the blessings I have around me make me realize just how wonderful my life truly is. I have an amazing daughter, friends that are family, family that are friends and am unbelievably fortunate to have found a career that I love. It’s taken me a while to get here, and trust me, it’s been a bumpy road and still is at times but my goodness, how sweet it is. I remember hearing once that you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. While I always claimed to understand that, I didn’t truly grasp the simple wisdom of the concept until recently. I was driving through the Delta last week and I swear, I have never felt closer to God than I did in that moment. We literally had a “Come to Jesus meeting” and I had to pull over on the side of the road because my tears were blurring the tree lines on the horizon. As I sat in my car, quiet tears streaming down my face, I had an overwhelming feeling of peace as a sense of calm washed over me. Everything is going to work out as it should, I just have to trust that He knows the plan for my life. In that moment, I realized just how wonderfully happy I should be. I’ve been so caught up in the ins and outs of the hectic everyday that I’m missing the wonderful things going on around me. I’m the only one holding me back and if I’ll let Him, He’ll bestow blessing on my life that I can’t even begin to imagine. I don’t know if the man of our dreams will be in a church pew next to us or the stranger on the street but I do know that if we make God a part of our family, a part of our lives, I have faith that everything else will fall into place.

1

2 comments

  1. Single -3

    Did I miss a print edition? Did you miss a deadline? You don’t post these on Wednesday. What is going on around here? If I could find a woman who recognized that admitting a mistake was a stregnth, I would marry her on the spot. Women believe that if they ever admit a mistake, then, men would never let them hear the end of it, so they NEVER admit one when they should.. not true about the man never letting them live it down… not from this man anyway.. Human beings must admit when they’re wrong to learn and to get better, but it should never be viewed as a weakness. But, for some reason,(I suspect it’s the way we condition you as a people), a lot of women view it as a weakness, or an embarassment, when it should not be viewed as such. As to the religious plan and destiny,I’m a pretty spiritual person, and I’ve heard that the good Lord helps those who help themselves, and I was baptised at age 35, and ALL of that GOOD stuff; but I still cannot reconcile the outcome of the Scopes monkey trial…If you believe one day the perfect man will “come along”,,, guess again… and figure out how to survive in the meantime baby. :)

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