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Single +1

Sarah Fowler

Well. It’s official. I’m the mommy of a Kindergartner. Whew Lordy, I have to remind myself to take a deep breath when I say that. I’m also officially considering checking myself in at the Betty Ford clinic. I am so not ready for this. Days like today make me want to be one of those little old ladies who carry around a Ziploc baggie full of multicolor pills in case of an emergency. My emergency happened this morning at approximately 8:02 am. I had just walked my big girl to her classroom and kissed her goodbye when I heard someone hysterically crying as they begged the teacher not to make her go. And then I realized that someone was me. Well crap. Cool, calm and collected has never really been my strong suit anyway. Maybe it wasn’t quite that mellow dramatic but it was dang close. Right before I turned to leave, I lingered in the doorway just a minute longer, savoring those last precious moments where I could pretend that Prinny was still a delicate little baby who very much needed her Mommy. As I stood there I watched her sit down at her little desk in those impossibly tiny chairs and begin to tell her desk mate about her snack for the day as they started a puzzle. Simple as that. No muss, no fuss. She was fine without me and while I’m raising her to be strong and independent, my heart swelled with a mixture of emotions that only Mommies can understand. I walked out of the room before she saw me cry. As I headed down the hallway I passed several other mothers who all had the same tear stained face, the same sad expression. I wondered if these mothers were all thinking the same thing I was, that suddenly I blinked and my baby wasn’t a baby anymore. In my mind I saw her first prom, her college graduation, her wedding day. I am raising this amazing little person who is blossoming into a girl that I can’t wait to get to know. But before she grows up there are a few things I would like her to know.
I remember spending my summer vacation as a little girl lying on the grass and staring up at the clouds. I would lie there for hours making clouds into elephants and bunnies, aliens and frogs. A few weeks ago, Prinny asked me to do the same thing with her. I was incredibly busy with deadlines, bills to pay, a million errands to run and honestly just didn’t feel like I had the time. I was just about to tell her “no” when I stopped and looked up at her beautiful little face and her eyes full of hope. It hit me that while I was busy doing things that just “had to get done” I was missing out on the most important thing of all. We went outside and just laid there in the grass, her head on my chest as she pointed up excitedly when she spotted Santa Claus in the clouds. I inhaled a deep breath and took in the smell of the fresh cut grass mixing with the smell of her strawberry shampoo. It was perfect and for a moment everything stopped. I was right where I was supposed to be and my goodness, I was happy. It was the simplest of moments but it meant the world to me. I want that for her. I want Prinny to know that as cheesy as it sounds, it really is the little things in life that make all the difference.
I turned 26 a few weeks ago. Notice I didn’t say I celebrated my 26th. I’ve always loved birthdays but this one seemed like a hop a skip and a broken hip away from medicare. 26 is closer to 30 and oh my good lord, I’m not ready for 30. I had planned on sitting my happy little butt at home by myself eating ice cream by the gallons and watching an endless run of bad Lifetime movies. Thank Goodness I have two girlfriends who had better ideas. They came over, dragged me off my couch, forced me into a six inch pair of heels and took me out to dinner. The next six hours were the best time I’ve had in a long time; we spent the entire night just laughing and talking about nothing. While I had been in a very definite and downward slump mere hours before, all it took was a night with these two incredible women to kick me out of my funk and remind me how dang lucky I am. Every woman needs those women in her life; a core group of friends that have seen you at your best, loved you at your worst and are there for all the times in between. I can only hope that Prinny learns at an early age how it important is to surround yourself with these women, to take solace in their friendship and love them with all your heart.
Most importantly, and maybe a little selfishly, I hope my baby girl learns just how life changing it is to be a Mommy. They say you don’t really understand your mother until you become one and I can definitely attest to that. I spent the majority of my high school years either ignoring my mother of arguing with her. I was convinced that she didn’t know anything and that she couldn’t possibly understand what I was going through. How times have changed. I was eight months pregnant when I decided to name my daughter after her. My mother may have given me the gift of life but she gave me an even greater gift without even realizing it: she taught me how to be a Mommy. Naming Prinny after her seemed like the very least I could do. I look forward to the time when Prinny has children of her own and I can see the joy in her eyes that my mother must see in mine. I want to sit at the table with her and have coffee, talk to her woman to woman. I can only imagine the woman that she’ll become, the mother she’ll be, but if she’s anything like the woman she’s named after, amazing doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Three little paragraphs can’t sum up the hopes and dreams that I have for my baby girl. I want my daughter to experience life, to grow and learn. To take each day as something new with endless possibilities. But most importantly, I want her to love. Watching this little girl I realize just how sweet spirited and loving she is and I hope that that’s something the world doesn’t take away. I want her to be thoughtful and kind. I hope she grows into a confident woman who believes in herself. There is so much more I want to teach Prinny, so much more I want to show her as I help mold and guide her into the beautiful young woman she is destined to be. As I left her school, thankful for the child she is and excited for things to come, it dawned on me that if these past five years are any indication, we’re off to a very good start.



  1. Single -3

    She can be a confident woman if you teach her confidence starting yesterday. And, positive reinforcement, acceptance, and encouragement is the recipe. Instill it in her NOW, tell her that she’s a good girl and make her believe it.. Positive reinforcement is the strongest behavior shaping technique and it will teach her to be self confident.

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