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Single +1


Being single is the best thing in the world 23 hours and 45 minutes out of the day. But when you crawl into bed by yourself, night after night, alone yet again, those last 15 minutes…well let’s be honest, they suck. I’m a woman in my twenties and I’ve been single again for almost four years. I was bitter for one, hopeful for two and now just praying I don’t die alone in my apartment with no one but the cats to notice the smell. The fact that I’m deathly allergic to cats would make that lonely and miserable death particularly tragic and ironic.
I grew up in Columbus, dated in Columbus and then married someone who wasn’t from Columbus. I’m thinking that’s where my problem started. My story has a very familiar ring to it: “W” girl marries a guy from the base, they move away and live happily ever after…except that’s not what happened to me. My fairy tale took a different turn. So now my preschool aged daughter and I are back in my hometown and I have decided to do the unthinkable. I have decided to date. Lord help.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but everyone is married. It’s what we good Southerners do, we marry and start making babies as soon as possible. So when you’re divorced at a relativity young age, all the men your age are already taken and gravity has yet to take its toll, what do you do? Join a harem? Try match.com? Or throw yourself off the Tombigbee? None of these options seem to appeal to me.
I knew times were getting desperate when I agreed to go on a blind date. I had been divorced for a while and was to the point where I no longer wanted to run over my ex husband with my car; that meant personal growth. So when an acquaintance said she knew the “perfect guy” I was just lonely enough to take the bait. For future reference, when a girl says she knows the “perfect guy” and she herself isn’t interested in him, run the other way. I’m a simple girl, I enjoy great conversation, appreciate when a man opens a door for me and am not above laughing at a dirty joke. But when you argue with me that Lynyrd Skynyrd did not sing “Sweet Home Alabama”, that sir is a deal breaker. I guess they won’t be playing that song at our wedding.
I’ve gone on dates since and I’m sure there will be more as lately I seem to be a two date kind of girl. I’m pretty sure I’ve dated every eligible man in Columbus and my options seem to be dwindling by the day. But I’m going to keep at it and hope to goodness one of these days I can actually meet someone who isn’t unemployed, still living with his Mommy and spends his days playing X-box. If you would like to meet him, his name is Earl and I’m sure he’s the “perfect guy” for you.
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1 comment

  1. kelly martin

    There are far more single women in this town than a lot of people know about. My little girls dad left when I was twenty one. The day he left was the day I vowed I would never even date anyone unless they have the same qualities as my father. I didn’t date, go out, or even socialize for three years. I devoted my time to my education and to my daughter. That’s all I had time for. For the first time in my adult life I four d a happiness not many people know. I even had an old friend tell me there was something about me; that I had a sparkle in my eye. I’m sure my relationship was much different from yours with verbal abuse and even beyond, but it was until I truly found myself I knew how to truly enjoy life again and be happy without searching for someone. It was until I started looking at everyone else around me that was in a relationship and wondered what it would be like since I had been with an unfaithful lying cheating abusive man I thought everyones relationship sucked. Until I saw the smiles on their faces. When you start looking at the grass on the other side it always seems to be a bit greener. I think if I would have quit searching for the past four years, my outlook on men and relationships wouldn’t be so dull. I finally learned there was a huge difference in dating and being in a relationship. One would call only when he was drunk, the other left and remarried his ex wife or two and a half years and all the others were nothing to me other than a free dinner and a chance to see if it would go anywhere. I quickly realized I was choosing the men that I knew wouldn’t be around long enough to matter especially air force guys. I know it sounds pathetic but subconsciously I really didn’t want anything and it was until two years later I just may have stumbled upon the man that’s right for me.

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